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My 48th birthday- thanks to Cannabis

An update is long overdue. I'll start with the good news. My cancer antigen marker, CA125, fell from 9 to 5 during my last blood testing period. Returning home to Santa Barbara, where I have access to custom made full spectrum cannabis oil, did the trick. During our summer in Breckenridge I was taking the same amount of THC, 30-40mg a day, but my marker crept up, likely because recreational products are THC/CBD focused and often lacking other molecules. There are over 500 compounds in Cannabis. The Baram et all 2019, paper shows how fiddly and fussy the chemistry is. Minor cannabinoids, terpenes and flavonoids can enhance or hinder the apoptosis. It is complicated chemistry, without the help of more science the dosing is difficult. If you want a better basic understanding of Cannabis as Medicine, my dosing physician, Dr. Bonni Goldstein, has a great new book out.

It is hard to overstate the tragedy. A novel target for many types of Cancer, (and a host of other diseases) and we basically can't do research in US because of Schedule 1. Is this how Galileo felt? Jailed and labeled a heretic for science the world was not ready to hear. I am struggling to not be discouraged. This is what I am up against. No one survives recurrent ovarian cancer. I am now at 5 years since symptom onset, and as you can see, everyone else is dead. So despite my recent good bloodwork I feel like I am surviving by the thinest thread of human knowledge.

The weeks news that got me down was SCOTUS refusal to hear the Washington v Barr lawsuit argued by these wonderful pro bono lawyers on behalf of a handful of medical Cannabis patients. The DEA and the Dept of (Un)Justice has intentionally created a no win system. They take decades to respond to Cannabis activists petitions, and after 7, 9, 10 years of stalling they just reject the petitions. SCOTUS refused to hear the case, saying to use the administrative process. It feels hopeless, there is no redress. I do not understand how the people at the DEA, who must have friends and family with cancer, or MS, or epilepsy, can live with themselves. They have told these lies for so long they believe them.

Just last month I was feeling hopeful. The House planned a floor vote for MORE Act. The House Science subcommittee was supportive of loosened research regulations and planned to send their bill out of committee. But then they all reneged. (which I know was intentional and strategic move to help it eventually pass, because the Republican controlled Senate would defeat it). After the SCOTUS decision I realizes we still have much work to do. I decided we should spend another day shooting and re-edit the movie ending to make it even more explicit. Schedule 1 is blocking life saving Cannabis research while our puritanical and scientifically illiterate Congress farts around and the citizens they supposedly serve are suffering and dying. Micheal and I are planning to visit my new friend George Hodgin, who runs the only DEA compliant Cannabis available for Schedule 1 researchers. We will visit his farm to talk about the rules that slow down the science.

If you feel like making a donation for movie updates the GoFundMe is here. I will be sure to add new donors to the credit roll. (hours after posting- Sally, world best mother in law, sent me the GFM error message when she tried to donate. There is no indication in our GFM account why it is blocked, but maybe this paper, which just popped up in my google scholar alert is the cause? I'm not fundraising to purchase oil, just to share my story. Is there no freedom of speech on GFM? I'll try to get GFM fixed soon. The gaslighting is thick!

The pandemic, the isolation, the stress of this election, my life hanging in the balance of an "illegal" plant medicine is taking its toll. No wonder I have an ulcer! Life feels like a Mobius strip of solitude and desperation endlessly folding over itself. I need something good to happen. The best birthday gift of all? Share my story and help change the world.


PS, don't forget to vote.

7 comentarii

Heidi Heslam Burke
Heidi Heslam Burke
18 dec. 2020

Hey there! This is Heidi. LOL! I wish I had your CA 125 markers. Mine started out 5600. July 2019. Now after Chemo and surgery. April had dropped to 22. Now it is back up to 400s. Weird though, I feel great! Just trying to figure out Cannabis regimen. I live in Florida so I can't grow, Its expensive. I am a Ret RN. HGSOC, patient. any suggestions thoughts, ideas, wisdom, greatly appreciated. Thanks for hanging in there for the rest of us. Waiting for science with you. Love and blessings, Heidi Burke


21 oct. 2020

Hi Michelle, I have been wondering how you are doing and hoping for good news and here it is! We are hopeful that our new administration will be enlightened by compassion and informed by science. Thank you for the FABULOUS news! Cherie


18 oct. 2020

Glad to hear from you, Michelle! I'd been wondering how you were doing.




17 oct. 2020

Dear Michelle, I am so glad you are home where you have good access to medicine, and thrilled to see your marker fell. Keep up your strength so you can continue this important work for you and so many others!


16 oct. 2020

Michelle, I had a dream that I finally met you in person just 2 nights ago so you have been on my mind! I celebrate with you! I noticed alum doc from my college, Davidson is doing a presentation (zoom) to educated people on the research behind medical marijuan, he is a big proponent! As Bruce may have told you, I (as well as the other women in my family) have the RAD-51C mutation so I follow your progress and discoveries closely, and thank you for your work!

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