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Searching for hope

Today is my 3rd rebirthday.  While it is important to acknowledge this milestone, I am not feeling very celebratory.  The inevitable has been relentlessly creeping closer.  My CA marker was up to 34, putting me at the threshold of recurrence.  I have a PET scan scheduled for March 15th.  If the scan shows only two or three tumors I could have surgery.  This is unlikely, as recurrent OC tends to spread diffusely throughout the abdomen.  I will have a needle or laparoscopic biopsy of tumor tissue for genetic testing.   After surgery in Oxford, my complete genome was sequenced, but because tumor cells grow quickly they have mutation change.  We need fresh samples to find mutations which could make the tumors susceptible to immunotherapy.  Most likely my next offensive will be chemo starting in early April.  After 6 months of chemo the hope will be for another 10-month remission. 


I am feeling deflated, defeated, and desperate.  Deflated and defeated after fighting hard for three years and feeling farther from health and closer to death.  Desperate to find hope in something.  For me right now that is THC.  I had hoped my 20:1 ratio of CDB dominant oil would decrease my markers.  It didn't.  Thanks to a skype consultation with a nurse that doses cancer patients, I have a new formula, much higher in THC.  I am going all in with daily dosing of 300mg of cannabinoids 2:1 THC to CBD.  I  have 5 weeks and 2 blood tests to see if this can slow the tumors before starting chemo.  This feels only slightly less crazy that rubbing purple crystals or giving myself turmeric colonics, but I have to try.  There is solid evidence THC and CBD fight cancer cells, but the data is limited to a few lab animal models.  Because of the Schedule 1 classification, It's a black hole.   

I will need babysitting while I ramp up the THC.  Email or leave a blog reply if you can come for visits. 

I am grateful for the love and support of so many people.  Thank you. 

hugs to all, MK  


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